Alright, you’ve got that big show coming up and you’re prepared in just about every way possible to go for the gold, but there’s one problem: you haven’t cleaned your tack.
Any equestrian will tell you that you don’t have a chance of placing in competition if your tack doesn’t have that certain shine the judges are looking for. Not sure how to get it? Well don’t you fret my friend; I have a simple guide of how to quickly achieve that sparkle that’ll bring you home the gold.
1.First, gather all of your supplies. The last thing you need to do is be covered in soap or oil and have to go stumbling through the stable looking for things. The essentials include: Two small buckets filled with warm water, a rag, a sponge, some form of mouthwash (I suggest Listerine, the horses seem to like that the best), glycerin soap, oils for the leather and polish.
2.After you’ve gathered everything you need it’s time to lay out your tack. Keep your saddle on a saddle rack and be sure to take off your leathers and irons. At this point you can through your irons in one of the buckets of water to begin soaking. Hang your leathers off the side of the saddle rack.
3.Next, you want to prepare your bridle for cleaning by taking it apart as well and hanging it from the saddle rack.
4.Pour mouthwash into the opposite bucket that your irons are soaking in and place your bits in to soak.
5.Pour some soap in with your irons, dampen a sponge and begin cleaning them. Be sure to remove the rubber pads and clean under those as well; You know judges are crazy and will look anywhere they can for the slightest sign of dirt.
6.Once finished with your irons hang them out to dry and begin the process of wiping down your saddle.
7.After scrubbing down your saddle, proceed to do the same to all of the pieces of your bridle. Be sure to pay special attention to cheek pieces and the browband as these are the areas that accumulate the most sweat and dirt.
8.After scrubbing everything down, pour some leather oil on your rag and begin working it into the leather of the bridle and saddle
9.After allowing some time for the oil to soak in, add a leather polish to your saddle and bridle.
10.Allow ample drying time for the polish to dry and proceed to put everything back together.
Helpful tips:
Never use soap on a bit. Your horse will refuse to take it and it is also dangerous because you never know if you got all of the soap off.
Toothbrushes work great in areas you’re really having trouble getting dirt and grime off.
If you’re having a really hard time making your bit and irons shine, put them in the dishwasher. Yes, I’m aware that it sounds ridiculous, but trust me nothing works better! Just be sure to soak your bits in mouthwash after you wash them.
*Posted for credit for JRN212
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
The Lovely Bones
So it would seem that the tragic comedy known as my life has kept me from updating my ever so lonesome blog. However, all of that is about to change because classes have started up again and you know what that means- mandatory blogging. I suppose that isn’t such a bad thing, after all I do need SOMETHING to get my butt in gear in keeping up with this thing. I was doing quite well until my trip to Florida; things seemed to tumble downhill from there. Anyhow, I do believe I have a specific topic I should be blogging about, is that not correct? Ah, yes, a literary classic.
The previous “literary classic” I wrote of was not in fact any sort of literary classic at all and that is indeed going to be the same with this post. It’s a new book that I have been absolutely enthralled with, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold.
Sebold takes such an interesting point of view while telling this tragic tale of a 14-year-old girl, Susie, who was raped and murdered by a man in her neighborhood. The book opens up with Susie in her own personal heaven. Her heaven is different from other people’s heaven, but they all seem to intertwine flawlessly. Susie is telling her story and watching as her family is trying desperately to unravel the mystery of what happened to her. This is both saddening and frustrating for Susie to watch due to the fact that her family begins to make some interesting choices while uncovering the truth of her death.
I love the fact that the author chooses to use the narrative voice throughout the entire book, not many authors choose to do so nowadays. It flows perfectly with the story and really lets you into the mind of the victim. You see the grief, confusion and constant struggle of dealing with what happened. The question of “Why?” comes up time after time, which had the result of me asking myself that very same question. If I were in that situation would I have been naïve enough to make the choices that Susie had made? I like the fact that the author gets you thinking and keeps your brain working throughout the story while also keeping you very connected with the characters.
This book has also caused quite a bit controversy, however. The fact that it deals with the afterlife and Susie having her own personal heaven has caused quite a stir in the religious community. “To me, the idea of heaven would give you certain pleasures, certain joys - but it's very important to have an intellectual understanding of why you want those things,” Sebold explains. “It's also about discovery, and being able to come to the conclusions that elude you in life. So it's from the most simplistic things - Susie wants a duplex - to larger things, like being able to understand why her mother was always slightly distant from her.” Sebold has also stated that the book is not intended to be religious, "but if people want to take things and interpret them, then I can't do anything about that. It is a book that has faith and hope and giant universal themes in it, but it's not meant to be, 'This is the way you should look at the afterlife'” [1]
After reading the book Peter Jackson fell in love with the story as well as the characters and has transformed this “literary classic” into a movie that will be released in the near future.
___________________________________________________
1 (Viner, Katharine; August 24, 2002; "Above and Beyond: Interview with Alice Sebold"; The Guardian; retrieved April 4, 2007)
*Posted for credit for JRN 212
The previous “literary classic” I wrote of was not in fact any sort of literary classic at all and that is indeed going to be the same with this post. It’s a new book that I have been absolutely enthralled with, The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold.
Sebold takes such an interesting point of view while telling this tragic tale of a 14-year-old girl, Susie, who was raped and murdered by a man in her neighborhood. The book opens up with Susie in her own personal heaven. Her heaven is different from other people’s heaven, but they all seem to intertwine flawlessly. Susie is telling her story and watching as her family is trying desperately to unravel the mystery of what happened to her. This is both saddening and frustrating for Susie to watch due to the fact that her family begins to make some interesting choices while uncovering the truth of her death.
I love the fact that the author chooses to use the narrative voice throughout the entire book, not many authors choose to do so nowadays. It flows perfectly with the story and really lets you into the mind of the victim. You see the grief, confusion and constant struggle of dealing with what happened. The question of “Why?” comes up time after time, which had the result of me asking myself that very same question. If I were in that situation would I have been naïve enough to make the choices that Susie had made? I like the fact that the author gets you thinking and keeps your brain working throughout the story while also keeping you very connected with the characters.
This book has also caused quite a bit controversy, however. The fact that it deals with the afterlife and Susie having her own personal heaven has caused quite a stir in the religious community. “To me, the idea of heaven would give you certain pleasures, certain joys - but it's very important to have an intellectual understanding of why you want those things,” Sebold explains. “It's also about discovery, and being able to come to the conclusions that elude you in life. So it's from the most simplistic things - Susie wants a duplex - to larger things, like being able to understand why her mother was always slightly distant from her.” Sebold has also stated that the book is not intended to be religious, "but if people want to take things and interpret them, then I can't do anything about that. It is a book that has faith and hope and giant universal themes in it, but it's not meant to be, 'This is the way you should look at the afterlife'” [1]
After reading the book Peter Jackson fell in love with the story as well as the characters and has transformed this “literary classic” into a movie that will be released in the near future.
___________________________________________________
1 (Viner, Katharine; August 24, 2002; "Above and Beyond: Interview with Alice Sebold"; The Guardian; retrieved April 4, 2007)
*Posted for credit for JRN 212
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Simplicity in a complicated world
Karl Barth, who has gained a reputation as being a great theologian and who wrote a study on the book of Romans which revolutionized theology only a few decades ago, was once asked, “What is the greatest theological thought that has ever crossed your mind?” One would expect a very long, in depth, complicated answer, but his was this: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” That is the simplicity that is in Christ.
It is easy to lose that in the midst of Christian activity or bible studies. One can become so involved in the captivating aspects of Scripture and give themselves over to a lifetime of Bible study only to end up losing the simplicity they have in Christ. So many great theologians have lost this concept and that of Christ is with you and that is enough.
“This is the beautiful, ‘simplicity that is in Jesus,’” Barth continued. “In Corinth they were assaulted with these teachers who were exposing them to things that caught their attention, but they were drifting from that central point. They were involved with fascinating philosophies based on the Word of God, but which went off on side tracks and rabbit paths of thought. They were being challenged with certain ego-appealing experiences, which if they could just grasp would make them feel so great, so wonderful, so God-possessed -- just like people today who are invited to explore strange and wonderful mysteries all involved with Christian faith -- but which tend to move them away from the simplicity that is in Christ.”
Now, before you go filling my inbox with complaints, know this: I am by no means suggesting that Christ is simple- He is far from it. What I am saying though is that there is a certain simplicity that we have in Him that so many people seem to be losing sight of today. I think Barth put it well. Oh look at that, I threw my opinion in there. I guess the whole blog is ruined,huh? Oh well, such is my life...
It is easy to lose that in the midst of Christian activity or bible studies. One can become so involved in the captivating aspects of Scripture and give themselves over to a lifetime of Bible study only to end up losing the simplicity they have in Christ. So many great theologians have lost this concept and that of Christ is with you and that is enough.
“This is the beautiful, ‘simplicity that is in Jesus,’” Barth continued. “In Corinth they were assaulted with these teachers who were exposing them to things that caught their attention, but they were drifting from that central point. They were involved with fascinating philosophies based on the Word of God, but which went off on side tracks and rabbit paths of thought. They were being challenged with certain ego-appealing experiences, which if they could just grasp would make them feel so great, so wonderful, so God-possessed -- just like people today who are invited to explore strange and wonderful mysteries all involved with Christian faith -- but which tend to move them away from the simplicity that is in Christ.”
Now, before you go filling my inbox with complaints, know this: I am by no means suggesting that Christ is simple- He is far from it. What I am saying though is that there is a certain simplicity that we have in Him that so many people seem to be losing sight of today. I think Barth put it well. Oh look at that, I threw my opinion in there. I guess the whole blog is ruined,huh? Oh well, such is my life...
Thursday, August 6, 2009
The doctor is in...
Recently I had one of my usual therapy sessions with my good friend, Twitty. I so look forward to these talks. We rant, we rave, we plot revenge against those who annoy us, we share things on our minds that we would not necessarily ever admit were there to others and enjoy one another’s friendship for a time. I myself was long over due for one of our little sessions and he expressed he was as well, so I hopped into his suburban, popped open my can of Arizona Raspberry Iced Tea (his treat of course), he his bottle of Dr. Pepper and we set off for what was indeed going to be a enticing ride to visit another long lost friend whom we had not seen in a year.
We began with the typical surface level conversation of “How do you do?” and our usual rant about how it’d been far too long since our previous session with one another. After spilling the latest drama in my life and he of his and rocking out to a few Taylor Swift songs we of course meandered onto the topic of our ever so excitingly dull dating lives. Neither of us has dated much; I have had one horrendous excuse for a relationship and he has endeavored on a few nightmares of his own. We spoke of our troubles, our lessons learned and discovered once again we have so much in common when it comes to what we are looking for at this point of our lives. He called me out on issues I was facing and I so kindly returned the favor.
*Side note- I tell ya, friendships where you can truly call one another out like that are hard to find, so when you’re lucky enough to come across one, take advantage of it and enjoy it for all it’s worth.
After what would seem like endless complaining and whining, on both our parts, we came to the conclusion that we are happy with where we are currently stationed in our lives. However, things always seem to be getting rushed by those around us who attempt to push us towards what they feel is right and what is considered to be the “norm” for our individual situations. Although, I suppose we cannot blame others for our predicaments, though we sure like to try and have become rather skilled at doing so. Sometimes though, however much we hate to admit it, we were just bored and ended up getting ourselves in a little deeper than we originally anticipated. Well, we both agreed that this pattern is coming to an abrupt end. We listened intently to one another’s stories, made fun of each other where needed and gave some level-headed, heart-felt advice on our specific situations. He set my head straight after knocking me on my butt and intends to make sure it stays that way. I’d like to say that our little heart-to-heart went deeper and we truly grew in who we are, our friendship began to blossom and yada yada yada, but Crazy Frog’s “I Like To Move It” came on and well- we like to move it! *Cue rock out dance party session*
We began with the typical surface level conversation of “How do you do?” and our usual rant about how it’d been far too long since our previous session with one another. After spilling the latest drama in my life and he of his and rocking out to a few Taylor Swift songs we of course meandered onto the topic of our ever so excitingly dull dating lives. Neither of us has dated much; I have had one horrendous excuse for a relationship and he has endeavored on a few nightmares of his own. We spoke of our troubles, our lessons learned and discovered once again we have so much in common when it comes to what we are looking for at this point of our lives. He called me out on issues I was facing and I so kindly returned the favor.
*Side note- I tell ya, friendships where you can truly call one another out like that are hard to find, so when you’re lucky enough to come across one, take advantage of it and enjoy it for all it’s worth.
After what would seem like endless complaining and whining, on both our parts, we came to the conclusion that we are happy with where we are currently stationed in our lives. However, things always seem to be getting rushed by those around us who attempt to push us towards what they feel is right and what is considered to be the “norm” for our individual situations. Although, I suppose we cannot blame others for our predicaments, though we sure like to try and have become rather skilled at doing so. Sometimes though, however much we hate to admit it, we were just bored and ended up getting ourselves in a little deeper than we originally anticipated. Well, we both agreed that this pattern is coming to an abrupt end. We listened intently to one another’s stories, made fun of each other where needed and gave some level-headed, heart-felt advice on our specific situations. He set my head straight after knocking me on my butt and intends to make sure it stays that way. I’d like to say that our little heart-to-heart went deeper and we truly grew in who we are, our friendship began to blossom and yada yada yada, but Crazy Frog’s “I Like To Move It” came on and well- we like to move it! *Cue rock out dance party session*
Friday, July 31, 2009
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...
Hello,
My name is Katie and I fail at blogging.
At the beginning of the summer I decided I was going to be a good blog owner for once in my life and actually get this thing up and running. I set goals to post once a week, to get Andrew to help me out with some design work on it and to really get serious about keeping up with it. As you can see, those goals crashed and burned. Well, maybe not, seeing as how they would have to be put in motion in order to crash and the poor things never even got off the ground.
I’ve always struggled with the idea of blogging. I’m a very open person when it comes to conversing with friends, coworkers, classmates and so on, but when it comes to writing out my thoughts and prayers I am very private about all of it. Putting my thoughts out there for everyone to read has just never been a comforting feeling. Although, perhaps sometimes I’m just plain lazy and don’t feel like taking ten minutes out of my daily time spent on Facebook to type up a short blurb of what’s been on my mind. I suppose that’s a gift I simply wasn’t born with, but one in which I mostly certainly should strive to obtain.
So, here it goes, I am publicly setting my goal right now. I am going to blog at least once a week from here on out.
Now if I fail everyone will get to know about it- such is my life, I suppose.
My name is Katie and I fail at blogging.
At the beginning of the summer I decided I was going to be a good blog owner for once in my life and actually get this thing up and running. I set goals to post once a week, to get Andrew to help me out with some design work on it and to really get serious about keeping up with it. As you can see, those goals crashed and burned. Well, maybe not, seeing as how they would have to be put in motion in order to crash and the poor things never even got off the ground.
I’ve always struggled with the idea of blogging. I’m a very open person when it comes to conversing with friends, coworkers, classmates and so on, but when it comes to writing out my thoughts and prayers I am very private about all of it. Putting my thoughts out there for everyone to read has just never been a comforting feeling. Although, perhaps sometimes I’m just plain lazy and don’t feel like taking ten minutes out of my daily time spent on Facebook to type up a short blurb of what’s been on my mind. I suppose that’s a gift I simply wasn’t born with, but one in which I mostly certainly should strive to obtain.
So, here it goes, I am publicly setting my goal right now. I am going to blog at least once a week from here on out.
Now if I fail everyone will get to know about it- such is my life, I suppose.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
F.I.N.A.L.S.
Oh the joys of writing my final blog and closing out my first year of writing with the Angelos team. It’s been fun working with all of you! Thank you for all of the awesome memories and tremendous growth.
I suppose I should get to talking about that “literary classic” now, shouldn’t I? Now most people would not consider this book to be a literary classic. It is not on the same level as Pride and Predigest or The Scarlet Letter, but it is however the book that initially got me interested in writing. I chose to write about a recent book I have read. That book would of course be one of my all-time favorites- Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None. This book absolutely grabs the reader’s attention like none other. The book takes you back in time to a “simpler time”, but leaves you with the realization that this could very well happen in today’s world as well, in fact there’s a new TV series that kinda plays off of this story line, Haper’s Island.
The author does an amazing job of flawlessly leading you down paths and kills off the murderer within the first few chapters of the book, which indeed throws the story line into a new playing field. It teases your brain and keeps it involved.
I personally have always been a fan of the background given on all of the characters and how in depth they go. The author really makes you feel for these people. It’s also kind of twisted at some points like how the murder recreates a scene from a girl’s past and she ends up hanging herself because of it, thus he did not “murder” her.
The book starts off fairly light-heartedly though, before the deaths start occurring. One by one each character “pays for their sins” with their lives, each in according to their own “sin”. At the end of the book a note is found by police explaining why all of the deaths occurred and what had become of the murderer. The reason behind the deaths is absolutely enticing. It makes you realize that you have a lot of power as a person and that it could very easily be abused.
I very much admire Christie’s writing skills and how she keeps such flawless track of the story line. I would very much recommend it to anyone who likes a good mystery. I read mysteries all the time and have often been able to figure out plot lines because of how many I have read, but this book changed all of that. It was the first time the author was able to confuse me, yet keep me interested at the same time. Once you pick this book up I guarantee you will not be able to put it down.
*Posted for credit for JRN 412
I suppose I should get to talking about that “literary classic” now, shouldn’t I? Now most people would not consider this book to be a literary classic. It is not on the same level as Pride and Predigest or The Scarlet Letter, but it is however the book that initially got me interested in writing. I chose to write about a recent book I have read. That book would of course be one of my all-time favorites- Agatha Christie’s And Then There Were None. This book absolutely grabs the reader’s attention like none other. The book takes you back in time to a “simpler time”, but leaves you with the realization that this could very well happen in today’s world as well, in fact there’s a new TV series that kinda plays off of this story line, Haper’s Island.
The author does an amazing job of flawlessly leading you down paths and kills off the murderer within the first few chapters of the book, which indeed throws the story line into a new playing field. It teases your brain and keeps it involved.
I personally have always been a fan of the background given on all of the characters and how in depth they go. The author really makes you feel for these people. It’s also kind of twisted at some points like how the murder recreates a scene from a girl’s past and she ends up hanging herself because of it, thus he did not “murder” her.
The book starts off fairly light-heartedly though, before the deaths start occurring. One by one each character “pays for their sins” with their lives, each in according to their own “sin”. At the end of the book a note is found by police explaining why all of the deaths occurred and what had become of the murderer. The reason behind the deaths is absolutely enticing. It makes you realize that you have a lot of power as a person and that it could very easily be abused.
I very much admire Christie’s writing skills and how she keeps such flawless track of the story line. I would very much recommend it to anyone who likes a good mystery. I read mysteries all the time and have often been able to figure out plot lines because of how many I have read, but this book changed all of that. It was the first time the author was able to confuse me, yet keep me interested at the same time. Once you pick this book up I guarantee you will not be able to put it down.
*Posted for credit for JRN 412
Sunday, March 1, 2009
How to...
Straight hair is in. There’s only one problem, you were cursed (or blessed depending on what type of curls you have) with curly or wavy hair. I'm tempted to give you the lecture on accepting yourself just as you are, but I'll bite my tongue for now and give you a step by step guide on how to straighten your hair instead:
1. Wash and condition your hair as usual. Conditioning is very important- it helps protect your hair against the heat.
2. Towel dry your hair by gently blotting hair with the towel. Remember that wet hair is more vulnerable to damage so be gentle with your hair when it is wet.
3. Put a protective product on your hair, such as Biosilk hair straightening gel or Pantene frizz control with added conditioner, before you blow dry your hair. Make sure you dry the heck out of your locks!
4. If you use a straightening product, which I suggest you do, put it on your hair now and distribute evenly.
5. Now here comes the fun part. Plug in your trusty flat iron and while it heats up brush out your hair and separate it into layers and sections.
6. Using a brush or comb, select a small segment of hair from the bottom section that you did not put up. Hold it out straight and run the flat iron over the section starting at you scalp and working down. If you have thicker curls it is best to go slow or repeat the process several times.
7. Never spend too much time in one spot. You could fry your hair and who wants to deal with split ends anyway?
8. When you are finished with one layer repeat the process until you have finished all of your hair.
9. When you are finished straightening, style your hair until you get that hot chic look you’ve been wishing you were born with.
10. Spray in some volumizing hair spray and show your new luscious locks off to the world!
*Posted for credit for JRN 412
1. Wash and condition your hair as usual. Conditioning is very important- it helps protect your hair against the heat.
2. Towel dry your hair by gently blotting hair with the towel. Remember that wet hair is more vulnerable to damage so be gentle with your hair when it is wet.
3. Put a protective product on your hair, such as Biosilk hair straightening gel or Pantene frizz control with added conditioner, before you blow dry your hair. Make sure you dry the heck out of your locks!
4. If you use a straightening product, which I suggest you do, put it on your hair now and distribute evenly.
5. Now here comes the fun part. Plug in your trusty flat iron and while it heats up brush out your hair and separate it into layers and sections.
6. Using a brush or comb, select a small segment of hair from the bottom section that you did not put up. Hold it out straight and run the flat iron over the section starting at you scalp and working down. If you have thicker curls it is best to go slow or repeat the process several times.
7. Never spend too much time in one spot. You could fry your hair and who wants to deal with split ends anyway?
8. When you are finished with one layer repeat the process until you have finished all of your hair.
9. When you are finished straightening, style your hair until you get that hot chic look you’ve been wishing you were born with.
10. Spray in some volumizing hair spray and show your new luscious locks off to the world!
*Posted for credit for JRN 412
Friday, January 16, 2009
My testimony
My testimony. What an interesting thing to write about. I’m not even really sure as to where I should start. I mean, I am a Christian, I have been since I was little. But I think my testimony is much more than just telling you that when I was little in Sunday school the teacher told us we would go to hell if we didn’t ask Jesus into our heats so that night I told my mommy and daddy I was scared and I “prayed Jesus into my heart”. Then many years later when I was 15 I finally understood what it meant to walk with Christ and how to have a relationship with Him, so I did a rededication. That’s not really a testimony. Synonyms for testimony are evidence, proof, demonstration… and that got me thinking. I wonder, what is the poof of my belief? What evidence is out there? What have I done to demonstrate my belief and relationship with God? So this brings me to several situations in my life when I have had to truly rely on God. I literally had no one to turn to. Here’s a short story of one or two situations in my life that I see as my “evidence” or “proof”. I wrote these to in a sense cope with what was going on at the time I suppose… but maybe it’ll give you a sense of where I’m coming from.
He is Always There
Looking back now I can see it was a blessing in disguise. I see everything that would have been… if not for this tragic event. I see loneliness, turmoil, and secrets. I see pain, both physical and emotional, but most of all, I see utter darkness.
What is this tragic event of which I speak? One of the most heartbreaking things I have had to endure, and I have endured many. It all started the day he changed, the day I saw that kindness in his eye disappear forever. The day he hit me. He said it was an accident, but I do not see how a swift movement across the cheek of ones face could be any such thing. I immediately broke off all communication with this now stranger. We were not always strangers, though; there was a time when we were inseparable. Oh, what a joyous time that was. He was my friend and my confidant, he was the person I could turn to when my family was having its usual troubles; he was my best friend.
My mind often wanders back to that day. I had not spoken a single word to him in almost two weeks because of the slapping incident. He wanted to talk to me, but I wanted no such thing to take place and I made that quite clear. I told him more than once that I did not want to speak with him and I asked him to just leave me be, but he could not take no for an answer. In a split second our relationship changed forever, as well as relationships with the people around us. He grabbed my wrist, I pulled back, he grabbed again leaving an impression on my small wrist and dragged me outside. We rounded a corner and I was thrown swiftly against the brick-like wall. I was in utter shock at what had occurred, I can remember it so vividly… too vividly. He started yelling at me and demanding that I speak with him. I tried over and over again to get away form this unfamiliar person, but to no avail. I tried to talk him down, I tried getting around him, but nothing would work! I’d make a move and he’d quickly push me back against the wall; I was pinned. I do not quite remember what occurred next, but somehow I made my way around this man and made my way quickly inside. I immediately broke down in tears.
Many weeks of fall out began. Family turned on family, friend on friend. Everything was so messed up and so unreal. I remember the look in my parent’s eyes as I told them what had occurred. I recall the look of utter disbelief as I told his mother what had happened. In one careless action our two families, that were nearly inseparable, had become like mortal enemies. A cover up quickly took place by his family and I was told to keep my mouth shut. His father, the pastor of our church, asked us to leave because I was “damaging the family’s integrity.” Everything I believed in was falling apart piece by piece, and not for the first time in my life.
This was an event that occurred over and over again in my life in different ways. I could not understand why it all kept happening to my family, to me. Did I do something to cause all of this? Was God angry at me for some reason? Had He taken his hand off of my life? So many questions flooded my mind and I endured many sleepless nights of just
crying out to God, and yet feeling as though I was only speaking to the ceiling. I felt so lonely and so abandoned.
Our families were once tighter than anything else could possibly be, but now they weren’t even speaking to each other. Rumors began to be spread about both of us and everything became so out of control. Finally my parents decided it was best to get me away from the situation all together. I was pulled out of my school four weeks before my graduation. My parents sought counseling for me, but that didn’t help, though everyone else believed it did.
I was excellent at putting on a front. In the light of day everyone thought I was doing so well and that I was so full of happiness and joy still, but at night in the quietness and stillness of my room I would cry myself to sleep. I would question everything; I still believed that I was to blame for what happened, that somehow I brought it on. I slipped further and further into a depression and finally my parents began to take notice once more. I went back into my councilor and there I began to slowly make progress. I still had this secret fear I always kept to myself. I would flinch anytime a male came near me.
It’s interesting how God begins to work in you when you’re in the lowest of lows. He wraps you in His arms and does not let go. He was there with me the whole time and I didn’t even know it. It took all summer before I could comfortably be around guys again. I still deal with the struggles of what occurred that day. I still find it hard to trust pastors and men in general. But I am learning to trust again. I have also come to realize that God did not take his hand off of my life. Rather He was working through every movement my parents made. He took me away from a very dangerous situation. My once best friend had become a total stranger and he kept going downhill. To this day his anger has never been dealt with. I pray that he seek help and find it before he does something like this, or worse, to someone else. I also came to realize that I did not cause what happened, and God was not angry with me. God has worked in me and through me in more ways than I could ever imagine. I am eager to see how He is going to use these experiences in my life to help someone else in the future and to draw even closer to Him.
Everyone says there’s nothing like your senior summer before you head off to college. And I suppose that is true. I will never forget my senior summer; I will never forget the things I learned. God never leaves us in our loneliness. He is always there, all we have to do is open our eyes and look.
The Farewell of a Son
There we stood in the doorway just staring at each other. He knew the choice that was before him, as did I; but would he make the right choice, or would he be forever lost in his decision?
Mother began begging and pleading for him to stay, father went to the other room and sat in silence pondering the thought of disowning his own son, and Jason was standing in the hall watching in disbelief at the fact that his own brother was considering turning his back on his family forever.
I could not stand the tension any longer. I ran from the doorway to my room and fell on my knees, crying before the Lord and begging Him to work in my brother's heart. You see, he had a decision before him. He had to choose between living a life with the girl he thought to be his only love and being with his family. Walking out that day meant that he would no longer have any contact with any of the ones who cared about him.
Moments passed, but it felt as though it had been hours. The constant arguing and screaming rang throughout the halls of our house that day. He walked out several times, but then he returned. We could see him struggling and torn apart by this choice. He did not want to lose his family but he also did not want to lose this girl whom he thought to be his one and only.
Finally, he fled out the door again, but this time he did not return. I can still feel the sickness in my stomach as I came to the realization that he was gone. The person I had grown up with, my protector, my best friend was gone forever. They say time heals all pain and that memories will fade, but I don’t believe that to be true; for you see, I will always have that image of my brother standing in the doorway at that sunset that evening. I will always remember the look on his face as he walked out of my life, and that of my family, forever.
These are two events that have taken place where I have had to completely rely on the Lord. He is truly my strength and my stronghold. And I think that is my testimony, that is my proof. The fact that I am still able to walk through life and with such great joy! God truly works wonders and protects and leads His children. I would be lost without the Lord in my life…
He is Always There
Looking back now I can see it was a blessing in disguise. I see everything that would have been… if not for this tragic event. I see loneliness, turmoil, and secrets. I see pain, both physical and emotional, but most of all, I see utter darkness.
What is this tragic event of which I speak? One of the most heartbreaking things I have had to endure, and I have endured many. It all started the day he changed, the day I saw that kindness in his eye disappear forever. The day he hit me. He said it was an accident, but I do not see how a swift movement across the cheek of ones face could be any such thing. I immediately broke off all communication with this now stranger. We were not always strangers, though; there was a time when we were inseparable. Oh, what a joyous time that was. He was my friend and my confidant, he was the person I could turn to when my family was having its usual troubles; he was my best friend.
My mind often wanders back to that day. I had not spoken a single word to him in almost two weeks because of the slapping incident. He wanted to talk to me, but I wanted no such thing to take place and I made that quite clear. I told him more than once that I did not want to speak with him and I asked him to just leave me be, but he could not take no for an answer. In a split second our relationship changed forever, as well as relationships with the people around us. He grabbed my wrist, I pulled back, he grabbed again leaving an impression on my small wrist and dragged me outside. We rounded a corner and I was thrown swiftly against the brick-like wall. I was in utter shock at what had occurred, I can remember it so vividly… too vividly. He started yelling at me and demanding that I speak with him. I tried over and over again to get away form this unfamiliar person, but to no avail. I tried to talk him down, I tried getting around him, but nothing would work! I’d make a move and he’d quickly push me back against the wall; I was pinned. I do not quite remember what occurred next, but somehow I made my way around this man and made my way quickly inside. I immediately broke down in tears.
Many weeks of fall out began. Family turned on family, friend on friend. Everything was so messed up and so unreal. I remember the look in my parent’s eyes as I told them what had occurred. I recall the look of utter disbelief as I told his mother what had happened. In one careless action our two families, that were nearly inseparable, had become like mortal enemies. A cover up quickly took place by his family and I was told to keep my mouth shut. His father, the pastor of our church, asked us to leave because I was “damaging the family’s integrity.” Everything I believed in was falling apart piece by piece, and not for the first time in my life.
This was an event that occurred over and over again in my life in different ways. I could not understand why it all kept happening to my family, to me. Did I do something to cause all of this? Was God angry at me for some reason? Had He taken his hand off of my life? So many questions flooded my mind and I endured many sleepless nights of just
crying out to God, and yet feeling as though I was only speaking to the ceiling. I felt so lonely and so abandoned.
Our families were once tighter than anything else could possibly be, but now they weren’t even speaking to each other. Rumors began to be spread about both of us and everything became so out of control. Finally my parents decided it was best to get me away from the situation all together. I was pulled out of my school four weeks before my graduation. My parents sought counseling for me, but that didn’t help, though everyone else believed it did.
I was excellent at putting on a front. In the light of day everyone thought I was doing so well and that I was so full of happiness and joy still, but at night in the quietness and stillness of my room I would cry myself to sleep. I would question everything; I still believed that I was to blame for what happened, that somehow I brought it on. I slipped further and further into a depression and finally my parents began to take notice once more. I went back into my councilor and there I began to slowly make progress. I still had this secret fear I always kept to myself. I would flinch anytime a male came near me.
It’s interesting how God begins to work in you when you’re in the lowest of lows. He wraps you in His arms and does not let go. He was there with me the whole time and I didn’t even know it. It took all summer before I could comfortably be around guys again. I still deal with the struggles of what occurred that day. I still find it hard to trust pastors and men in general. But I am learning to trust again. I have also come to realize that God did not take his hand off of my life. Rather He was working through every movement my parents made. He took me away from a very dangerous situation. My once best friend had become a total stranger and he kept going downhill. To this day his anger has never been dealt with. I pray that he seek help and find it before he does something like this, or worse, to someone else. I also came to realize that I did not cause what happened, and God was not angry with me. God has worked in me and through me in more ways than I could ever imagine. I am eager to see how He is going to use these experiences in my life to help someone else in the future and to draw even closer to Him.
Everyone says there’s nothing like your senior summer before you head off to college. And I suppose that is true. I will never forget my senior summer; I will never forget the things I learned. God never leaves us in our loneliness. He is always there, all we have to do is open our eyes and look.
The Farewell of a Son
There we stood in the doorway just staring at each other. He knew the choice that was before him, as did I; but would he make the right choice, or would he be forever lost in his decision?
Mother began begging and pleading for him to stay, father went to the other room and sat in silence pondering the thought of disowning his own son, and Jason was standing in the hall watching in disbelief at the fact that his own brother was considering turning his back on his family forever.
I could not stand the tension any longer. I ran from the doorway to my room and fell on my knees, crying before the Lord and begging Him to work in my brother's heart. You see, he had a decision before him. He had to choose between living a life with the girl he thought to be his only love and being with his family. Walking out that day meant that he would no longer have any contact with any of the ones who cared about him.
Moments passed, but it felt as though it had been hours. The constant arguing and screaming rang throughout the halls of our house that day. He walked out several times, but then he returned. We could see him struggling and torn apart by this choice. He did not want to lose his family but he also did not want to lose this girl whom he thought to be his one and only.
Finally, he fled out the door again, but this time he did not return. I can still feel the sickness in my stomach as I came to the realization that he was gone. The person I had grown up with, my protector, my best friend was gone forever. They say time heals all pain and that memories will fade, but I don’t believe that to be true; for you see, I will always have that image of my brother standing in the doorway at that sunset that evening. I will always remember the look on his face as he walked out of my life, and that of my family, forever.
These are two events that have taken place where I have had to completely rely on the Lord. He is truly my strength and my stronghold. And I think that is my testimony, that is my proof. The fact that I am still able to walk through life and with such great joy! God truly works wonders and protects and leads His children. I would be lost without the Lord in my life…
Thursday, January 15, 2009
College is...
College is having a spur of the moment croquet game
College is raiding school buildings for toilet paper when you're running low on funds and the tp is out
College is having shopping cart races... over speed bumps
College is pulling an all-nighter only to find out that the assignment wasn't due till NEXT week
College is finding out that you can make pizza from biscuit dough, though it is not recommended
College is making new friends who become best friends nearly every night
College is the time of your life
College is raiding school buildings for toilet paper when you're running low on funds and the tp is out
College is having shopping cart races... over speed bumps
College is pulling an all-nighter only to find out that the assignment wasn't due till NEXT week
College is finding out that you can make pizza from biscuit dough, though it is not recommended
College is making new friends who become best friends nearly every night
College is the time of your life
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